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Opinion: For many women, social media is ‘IRL.’ Here’s why that’s dangerous

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When scholar Kaitlyn Regehr’s team set up accounts and searched for information commonly sought out by young men in the UK, such as information on loneliness, mental health and fitness, the amount of misogynistic content suggested on TikTok’s “For You” page quadrupled over just five days. In response to the report, TikTok told The Guardian that “misogyny has long been prohibited on TikTok and we proactively detect 93% of content we remove for breaking our rules on hate. The methodology used in this report does not reflect how real people experience TikTok.”

“Extremist misogyny that was once really segregated to … [less mainstream] platforms is now disseminating onto much more popular platforms like TikTok and permeating into youth culture more generally,” Regehr, an associate professor at University College London who studies online extremist groups, told me. A few years ago, it would have been considered shocking to post on mainstream social networks about a woman’s anatomy being disfigured after violent sex, Regehr pointed out. Now, “we’re moving into this new act where that type of dark edgy humor is not that shocking, and that is unique compared to other forms of extremism.”

This kind of content started out in the so-called “manosphere,” where many men came together to share their hatred towards and grievances against women. Social media provided a space for them to find one another and commune, making their beliefs even more extreme. Over the past several years, these views have spread onto more mainstream platforms.

It’s common to use the phrase “in real life” (or just IRL) to refer to things that happen offline. This phrase hasn’t just become antiquated — it’s now dangerous, because it negates the very real effects of what’s happening online. What our society is sharing and seeing on social media is profoundly affecting the way women are viewed and treated in all aspects of our lives.

For example, the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey, released last year, found that the percentage of US high school girls who said they’d been forced to have sex increased from 12% to 14% from 2011 to 2021. There are about 15.4 million students in high school in the US. Assuming that roughly half are female, if we applied these findings, approximately 154,000 more girls were forced to have sex.

 
 
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